Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
