I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
