Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need to sanitize my soul.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
