he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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