Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
