i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His nipple licking is glorious
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
