Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
