i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
