We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
