atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
