i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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