I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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