You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
