my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
COCAINE IS GR8
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
