do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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