i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
