She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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