What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
