Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
