When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
that may or may not have been my penis.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
