i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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