So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
