i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
