Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
