Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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