I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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