I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
