Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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