so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
