Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Randomize
