i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
