i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she looked like the before picture.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
