There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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