What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
