I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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