She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
