K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
