Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
