Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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