I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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