JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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