so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
