We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
