Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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