Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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