never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
