You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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