it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
