Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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