I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
