i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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