she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize